RED VELVET COCK CAKES

[peringatan: Konten ini berisi muatan semi pornografi. Khusus 17 tahun ke atas. Dilarang protes kalo bahasa Inggris gue rada acak-acakan.]

So, wdyt of this pict? It was my hand and a.. nonono! Please, no porn here :p I wasn’t having a hand-job at that time—cus it’s impossible to take pict while having hand-job, merusak suasana, mihihi. This is pict of my hand and my home made red velvet cupcake -_- cupcake? Yea, CUPCAKE! But bcus it seems like a.. I mean.. ehm.. cock—it’s not kind of chicken—or what.. ehm.. it’s difficult to say that the cupcake seems like..  dick >,<  ~oh finally I said it!

So, I named it.. red velvet cock cakes -_-

I dunno why this redve became like that. I got recipe from Sonia Eryka’s blog, she’d been success in making her classic redve. I was trying to do so. With the same recipe, same way, but different hand and face—okay she’s more beautiful than me -..- These are the recipe, adapted from soniaeryka.blogspot.com

- 2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 2 tablespoons cocoa powder
- 1 teaspoon red food coloring
- 1/2 cup unsalted butter
- 1 1/2 cups sugar
- 2 eggs
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 cup buttermilk (If you don't have buttermilk, simply substitute it with milk + 1 teaspoon lemon juice)
- 1 teaspoon white vinegar

How:

Sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt into a medium bowl and set aside. In a smaller bowl, mix food coloring and cocoa powder to form a thin paste without lumps and set aside. In a larger bowl, beat the butter until soft. Add sugar and beat until light & fluffy. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well. Scrape down the sides of the bowl, add vanilla extract and beat again until combined.

In measuring cup, whisk the buttermilk with red coloring. With low-speed mixer, add flour mixture & buttermilk to the butter mixture (in 3 additions, beginning & ending with flour). In a small cup, combine the vinegar & baking soda. Add vinegar mixture to the cake batter & stir well. Fill cupcake cups with cake batter until it's 3/4 full. Bake in the preheated oven for 15-20 minutes in 190-200 degrees celcius.

Making red velvet

Sonia Eryka's red velvet.. seems delicious

MINE -_- seems disgusting

I did the same way with her. I added lime water in UHT milk—as Sonia Eryka suggested, this bcus I didn’t have buttermilk *call me kere -_- and for the vinegar, I don’t know how white vinegar is, so I added vinegar for making acar haaahaaa -_- After baking, I was shocked why this cupcakes didn’t look like Sonia Eryka’s T.T Maybe mine was lack of chocolate and coloring. It didn’t seem like redve cupcakes. And I just realized that it’s like black ebony dick that I saw in bokep -_-

Wish me luck in other recipe. Nutritionist-wanna-be MUST BE ABLE to do it ^^